Author Topic: On mirroring  (Read 3419 times)


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On mirroring
« on: March 20, 2012, 01:10:24 AM »
I just read a good book by Patrick Rothfuss called, The Name of the Wind.  There was a passage in it that I thought perfectly captured the concept of mirroring as we talk about it here.  And, yes, I am geeky, reading and loving this fantasy-type genre or whatever you want to call it :)

He hesitated, struggling to find the words he wanted.  "You see, there's a fundamental connection between seeming and being.  Every Fae child knows this, but you mortals never seem to see.  We understand how dangerous a mask can be.  We all become what we pretend to be."

Chronicler relaxed a bit, sensing familiar ground.  "That's basic psychology.  You dress a beggar in fine clothes, people treat him like a noble, and he lives up to their expectations."

"That's only the smallest piece of it," Bast said.  "The truth is deeper than that.  It's . . . "  Bast floundered for a moment.  "It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head.  Always.  All the time.  That story makes you what you are.  We build ourselves out of that story."

Frowning, Chronicler opened his mouth, but Bast held up a hand to stop him.  "No, listen.  I've got it now.  You meet a girl: shy, unassuming.  If you tell her she's beautiful, she'll think you're sweet, but she won't believe you.  She knows that beauty lies in your beholding."  Bast gave a grudging shrug.  "And sometimes that's enough."

His eyes brightened.  "But there's a better way.  You show her she is beautiful.  You make mirrors of your eyes, prayers of your hands against her body.  It is hard, very hard, but when she truly believes you . . . "  Bast gestured excitedly.  "Suddenly the story she tells herself in her own head changes.  She transforms.  She isn't seen as beautiful.  She is beautiful, seen."

O gather up the brokenness
And bring it to me now . . .

Behold the gates of mercy
In arbitrary space
And none of us deserving
The cruelty or the grace

O solitude of longing
Where love has been confined
Come healing of the body
Come healing of the mind
  - Leonard Cohen, "Come Healing"

Let me be in the service of my Magic, and let my Magic be Good Medicine.  -- Dominique Christina


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Re: On mirroring
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2012, 01:46:39 PM »
That was a good excerpt...

The idea that we tell ourselves stories is, incidentally, a critical part of the corporate training book/course known as Crucial Conversations.  I now use that idea to help me to realize when I am listening to a story I have created and begin to look into it for facts.  Basically, we find ourselves spinning stories/theories all the time about ourselves and others.  Becoming more critical of those stories is a start down the path to greater self-awareness.


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Re: On mirroring
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2012, 10:41:11 PM »
Hi, Keri and Sealchan.  Keri's quote is very good. Thanks for sharing it.  Sealchan and Keri, this thread is very helpful for me. I like the idea that we need to examine the "picture" and pictures we "draw" about ourselves, the stories we tell ourselves.  That this is the first step to greater self awareness, which I would call "healing" is something I had never thought about before.